Us Weekly Fashion Police - Gallery 2

Ripping celebs a new one since 2004.

I know that me criticizing celebrities' attire is like the pot calling the kettle poorly dressed (see disclaimer). But I'm fine with that. Now, on with the snark...

Marisa Tomei
Ten yard penalty. Too many ferrets on the field.
Teri Hatcher
Pepto-Bismol colored with a large intestine around her neck and it's still hard to digest.
Cate Blanchett
See Spot. Run!
Celine Dion
The bottom says bicycling, the top says jogging, and the glasses say arc welding.
Star Jones
Looks like Star's maid forgot to separate the colors again.
Minnie Driver
I sure hope those are new clothes in that bag.
Alyssa Milano
Just because they're both shiny doesn't mean they match.
Paris Hilton
It's getting harder for Paris to hide those unsightly devil horns.
Mariska Hargitay
Kremlin-shaped hats are all the rage in Vladivostok.
Courtney Love
Stop making Mr. Blackwell's job so easy.
Star Jones
The Pink Panther called. He wants his pelt back.
Lindsay Lohan
"Hi Mom! I'm dressed like a bag lady in Us Weekly."
Ciara
Those jeans should come with their own razor.
Patricia Arquette
Mylar - it's not just for balloons anymore.
Thomas Jane and Patricia Arquette
Patricia dances in the saloon while Thomas prospects for gold.
Toni Braxton
Where's a gust of wind when you need one?
Drew Barrymore
Never bake St. Patrick's Day cookies without an apron.
Pink
Looks like an outfit made from leftovers from the wardrobe trunk.
Gwyneth Paltrow
What did her hair do to deserve this punishment?
Faith Evans
Couldn't she have found shoes to match one of those colors?
Gwen Stefani
The buzz isn't too good on this outfit.
Liza Minelli
Fashion of the Christ.
Johnny Depp
Neverland: found. Stylist: still searching.
Project Runway's Austin Scarlett
This situation was detected by gaydar over 200 miles away.
Ben Affleck
Ben's addictions: nicotine, caffeine, and... pleather.
Rachel Bilson
Testing the expression, "She'd look good in a burlap sack."
Ashton Kutcher
That outfit is like a frontside Ollie... into a faceplant!
Cameron Diaz
Is she skiing or piloting a Harrier Jump Jet off an aircraft carrier?
Anna Nicole Smith
Bust-see TV.
Mariska Hargitay
Law and Order: Fashion Victims Unit
Jennifer Lopez
Veni, vidi, Gigli.
Angelica Houston
That reminds me... I need to pick up some Hefty bags.
Jessica Simpson
Never lend your sweater to Michael Moore.
Kylie Minogue
Nobody has the heart to tell her it's a Christmas tree skirt!
Pink
Celebs get everything for free! Now they want free washes?
Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese
Just goes to show that even anorexic pasty freaks can score primo tail.
Rebecca DeMornay
There are more people on that coat than saw her last movie.
Tangi Miller
Tangi can't hide her love of Greco-Roman wrestling.
Rebecca DeMornay
Chameleons rate this fabric a 9.8 in difficulty.
Jay Manuel
Nice cummerbund. Could have used more bailing wire though.
Cynthia Nixon
Impeach Nixon's dress.
Sharon Stone
It did say "Dry clean only."
Janice Dickinson
From the Rodney Dangerfield collection.
Daniel Day-Lewis
Nothing accessorizes a velvet suit better than the oldest shoes known to man.
Rachel Bilson
How to prevent wolf-whistles when passing a construction site.
Paula Abdul
Ten pounds of tomatoes in a five pound sack.
Paula Abdul
The last person to look good in a tiara was Queen Victoria.
Vanessa Carlton
Dress inspired by a Scotch Tape dispenser.
Cher
There are some real finds at the Beverly Hills Salvation Army.
Katie Holmes
Best thing about this dress: won't show mint chocolate chip ice cream stains.
Lisa Marie Presley
She's hoping the gift bag has a broomstick to complete her outfit.
Eliza Dushku
So Peter Max is designing dresses now?
Paula Abdul
The invite said "dress cosmopolitan," not neapolitan.
Mischa Barton
If Native Americans designed spacesuits, this is what they might look like.
Bijou Phillips
You really can find anything on eBay.
Kelly Ripa
Run! The yeti thinks you're his mate!
Christina Aguilera
Sure she got a couple black eyes in the fight, but you should see Britney!
Eva Mendes
It's Cesar Romero from the original Batman!
Scarlett Johansson
Go back to the MAC counter and ask for a refund.
Shirley Manson
Shirley, Marilyn and Charles... three Mansons with crazy eyes.
Jessica Simpson
Can you spell "cleavage?" Actually... she can't.
Natasha Henstridge
Bound with electrical tape, Natasha narrowly escaped from her kidnappers.
Jennifer Lopez
Her Indian name: "Runs From Husbands."
Kelly Osbourne
Goth cowgirl -- perfect for the city and the country!
Bobby Trendy
If Siegfried and Roy had a son.
Alicia Witt
This scout isn't getting a merit badge in fashion.
Catherine Bach
Solid bronze clothes are durable, but a bitch to get past airport metal detectors.
Trisha Yearwood
When she's not wearing it, this dress is used to keep the infield at Fenway Park dry.
Serena Williams
In tennis this is called an "unforced error."
Pink
Pink loves to call attention to her left hip for some reason.
Julia Roberts
It's sad when Julia Roberts walks by and all you notice is a green bag.
Melissa Rivers
Behold... the stone-thrower lives in a glass house!
Thora Birch
It's Red Leather Jacket Day at the state prison.
Randy Quaid
Which is salmonella and which is e. coli?
Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie's attempt to break into a boy band is perplexing.
Pink
She's either poorly dressed or doing a very bad job of shoplifting a bed ruffle.
C.C. DeVille
You'll see this on the "hitting rock bottom" segment of Poison: Behind the Music.
Diana Ross
If you whack her with a stick, candy and toys fall out.
Tyra Banks
How many Santa's beards were sacrificed to make that dress?
Claire Danes
I hope she saved the tags.
Halle Barry
Wait Halle, you didn't finish painting the trim!
Goldie Hawn
For Halloween, Goldie dressed up as ribbon candy.
Serena Williams
This tennis star's outfit is so bad, I can't even give it a backhanded compliment.
Bo Bice
He looks more like an American Idle.
Viggo Mortensen
Isn't that Robert Conrad's old Wild, Wild West bolero jacket?
Julianna Marguiles
"Curse you, Zorro!"
Vivica A. Fox
The air bag on Vivica's dress accidentally deployed.
Chloe Sevigny
You know that dream where you forget to wear pants? She's living it
Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen
Olsen twins' net worth: $300M. Price of a good haircut: $301M, apparently.
Jennifer Lopez
Less of a hairdo, more of a hair-don't.
Mickey Rourke
At least the dog had the good sense to leave his matching top at home.
Rob Schneider
Deuce Bigalow: Nashville Gigolo.
Nicole Richie
A migraine headache in convenient dress form!
Jessica Alba
Darth Maul dresses? This Star Wars marketing is out of control.
Andre 3000
Looks more like Andre 1930.
Jenny McCarthy
The mechanical bull said he'd never been ridden like that before!
Victoria Beckham
"Do you realize how many times I had to throw up to fit in this?"
Alan Cumming
Alan, what's your address? I'll send you an Epilady.
Paris Hilton
This colorful dress will show up great in her next nighttime sex video.
Paris Hilton
Connect Four, anyone?
Bjork
It's sad to see Bjork try to make ends meet as a Princess Leia impersonator.
Usher
Usher demonstrates how he lost a rock-paper-scissors game and was forced to wear this as punishment.
Omarosa
I wish she'd stick her head back in that tortoise shell dress and never come out.
Mariska Hargitay
You see two fish kissing. I see leaves.
Sheryl Crow
Perfect for a dip in the ocean, circa 1910.
Jane Wiedlin
Uh... the lanyard is nice.
Paris Hilton
The first time her legs have been crossed in years!
Kelly Osbourne
What kind of father would let his daughter dress like this? Oh... right.
Roseanne
Get your picture taken with Mrs. Claus, kids!
Lisa Gastineau
A bridesmaid dress that barely survived a house fire.
Aisha Tyler
Like a tornado hitting a paint store.
Cheryl Hines
Looks exactly like a plate I made at Color Me Mine.