Marisa Tomei

Ten yard penalty. Too many ferrets on the field.

Teri Hatcher

Pepto-Bismol colored with a large intestine around her neck and it's still hard to digest!

Cate Blanchett

See Spot. Run!

Celine Dion

The bottom says bicycle racing, the top says ski weekend, and the glasses say arc welding.

Star Jones

Looks like Star's maid forgot to separate the colors again.

Minnie Driver

I sure hope those are new clothes in that bag.

Alyssa Milano

Just because they're both shiny doesn't mean they match.

Paris Hilton

It's getting harder for Paris to hide those unsightly devil horns.

Mariska Hargitay

Kremlin-shaped hats are all the rage in Vladivostok.

Courtney Love

Stop making Mr. Blackwell's job so easy.

Star Jones

The Pink Panther called. He wants his pelt back.

Lindsay Lohan

"Hi Mom!  I'm dressed like a bag lady in Us Weekly."

Ciara

Those jeans should come with their own razor.

Patricia Arquette

Mylar -- it's not just for balloons anymore.

Thomas Jane and wife Patricia Arquette

Patricia dances in the saloon while Thomas prospects for gold.

Toni Braxton

Where's a gust of wind when you need one?

Drew Barrymore

Never bake St. Patrick's Day cookies without an apron.

Pink

Looks like an outfit made from leftovers from the wardrobe trunk.

Gwyneth Paltrow

What did her hair do to deserve this punishment?

Faith Evans

Couldn't she have found shoes to match one of those colors?

Gwen Stefani

The buzz isn't too good on this outfit.

Liza Minelli

Fashion of the Christ.

Johnny Depp

Neverland: found. Stylist: still searching.

Project Runway's Austin Scarlett

This situation was detected by gaydar over 200 miles away.

Ben Affleck

Ben's addictions: nicotine, caffeine, and... pleather.

Rachel Bilson

Testing the expression, "She'd look good in a burlap sack."

Ashton Kutcher

That outfit is like a frontside Ollie... into a faceplant!

Cameron Diaz

Is she skiing or piloting a Harrier Jump Jet off an aircraft carrier?

Anna Nicole Smith

Bust-see TV.

Mariska Hargitay

Law and Order: Fashion Victims Unit

Jennifer Lopez

Veni, vidi, Gigli.

Angelica Houston

That reminds me... I need to pick up some Hefty bags.

Jessica Simpson

Never lend your sweater to Michael Moore.

Kylie Minogue

Nobody has the heart to tell her it's a Christmas tree skirt!

Pink

Celebs get everything for free! Now they want free washes?

Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese

Just goes to show that even anorexic pasty freaks can score primo tail.

Rebecca DeMornay

There are more people on that coat than saw her last movie.

Tangi Miller

Tangi can't hide her love of Greco-Roman wrestling.

Melissa George

Chameleons rate this fabric a 9.8 in difficulty.

Jay Manuel

Nice cummerbund. Could have used more bailing wire though.

Cynthia Nixon

Impeach Nixon's dress.

Sharon Stone

It did say "Dry clean only."

Janice Dickinson

From the Rodney Dangerfield collection.

Daniel Day-Lewis

Nothing accessorizes a velvet suit better than the oldest shoes known to man.

Rachel Bilson

How to prevent wolf-whistles when passing a construction site.

Paula Abdul

The invite said "dress cosmopolitan," not neapolitan.

Paula Abdul

The last person to look good in a tiara was Queen Victoria.

Vanessa Carlton

Dress inspired by a Scotch Tape dispenser.

Cher

There are some real finds at the Beverly Hills Salvation Army.

Katie Holmes

Best thing about this dress: won't show mint chocolate chip ice cream stains.

Lisa Marie Presley

She's hoping the gift bag has a broomstick to complete her outfit.

Eliza Dushku

So Peter Max is designing dresses now?

Paula Abdul

Ten pounds of tomatoes in a five pound sack.

Mischa Barton

If Native Americans designed spacesuits, this is what they might look like.

Bijou Phillips

You really can find anything on eBay.

Kelly Ripa

Run! The yeti thinks you're his mate!

Christina Aguilera

Sure she got a couple black eyes in the fight, but you should see Britney!

Eva Mendes

It's Cesar Romero from the original Batman!

Scarlett Johansson

Go back to the MAC counter and ask for a refund.

Shirley Manson

Shirley, Marilyn and Charles... three Mansons with crazy eyes.

Jessica Simpson

Can you spell "cleavage?" Actually... she can't.

Natasha Henstridge

Bound with electrical tape, Natasha narrowly escaped from her kidnappers.

Jennifer Lopez

Her Indian name: "Runs From Husbands."

Kelly Osbourne

Goth cowgirl -- perfect for the city and the country!

Bobby Trendy

If Siegfried and Roy had a son.

Alicia Witt

This scout isn't getting a merit badge in fashion.

Catherine Bach

Solid bronze clothes are durable, but a bitch to get past airport metal detectors.

Trisha Yearwood

When she's not wearing it, this dress is used to keep the infield at Fenway Park dry.

Serena Williams

In tennis this is called an "unforced error."

Pink

Pink loves to call attention to her left hip for some reason.

Julia Roberts

It's sad when Julia Roberts walks by and all you notice is a green bag.

Melissa Rivers

Behold... the stone-thrower lives in a glass house!

Thora Birch

It's Red Leather Jacket Day at the state prison.

Randy Quaid

Which is salmonella and which is e. coli?

Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie's attempt to break into a boy band is perplexing.

Eva Green

She's either poorly dressed or doing a very bad job of shoplifting a bed ruffle.

C.C. DeVille

You'll see this on the "hitting rock bottom" segment of Poison: Behind the Music.

Diana Ross

If you whack her with a stick, candy and toys fall out.

Tyra Banks

How many Santa's beards were sacrificed to make that dress?

Claire Danes

I hope she saved the tags.

Halle Barry

Wait Halle, you didn't finish painting the trim!

Goldie Hawn

For Halloween, Goldie dressed up as ribbon candy.

Serena Williams

This tennis star's outfit is so bad, I can't even give it a backhanded compliment.

Bo Bice

He looks more like an American Idle.

Viggo Mortensen

Isn't that Robert Conrad's old Wild, Wild West bolero jacket?

Julianna Marguiles

"Curse you, Zorro!"

Vivica A. Fox

The air bag on Vivica's dress accidentally deployed.

Chloe Sevigny

You know that dream where you forget to wear pants? She's living it.

Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen

Olsen twins' net worth: $300M. Price of a good haircut: $301M, apparently.

Jennifer Lopez

Less of a hairdo, more of a hair-don't.

Mickey Rourke

At least the dog had the good sense to leave his matching top at home.

Rob Schneider

Deuce Bigalow: Nashville Gigolo.

Nicole Richie

A migraine headache in convenient dress form!

Jessica Alba

Darth Maul dresses? This Star Wars marketing is out of control.

Andre 3000

Looks more like Andre 1930.

Jenny McCarthy

The mechanical bull said he'd never been ridden like that before!

Victoria Beckham

"Do you realize how many times I had to throw up to fit in this?"

Alan Cumming

Alan, what's your address? I'll send you an Epilday.

Paris Hilton

This colorful dress will show up great in her next nighttime sex video.

Paris Hilton

Connect Four anyone?

Bjork

It's sad to see Bjork try to make ends meet as a Princess Leia impersonator.

Usher

Usher demonstrates how he lost a rock-paper-scissors game and was forced to wear this as punishment.

Omarosa

I wish she'd stick her head back in that tortoise shell dress and never come out.

Mariska Hargitay

You see two fish kissing. I see leaves.

Sheryl Crow

Perfect for a dip in the ocean, circa 1910.

Jane Wiedlin

Uh... the lanyard is nice.

Paris Hilton

The first time her legs have been crossed in years!

(Note the pit stain on the guy in the background.)

Kelly Osbourne

What kind of father would let his daughter dress like this?

Oh... right.

Roseanne

Get your picture taken with Mrs. Claus, kids!

Lisa Gastineau

A bridesmaid dress that barely survived a house fire.

Aisha Tyler

Like a tornado hitting a paint store.

Cheryl Hines

Looks exactly like a plate I made at Color Me Mine.