Welcome to the madcap world of Steve Altes...

humorous speaker, rocket scientist, business ninja, hand model, author, fashion policeman

Come for the nerdiness. Stay for the snark.

Speaking

Looking to liven up your next conference? Take a gander at these action photos. Partake of my demo video. Then close the deal after perusing these kudos from people who aren't related to me.

Writing

Greetings Interweb person, hungry for mirth. Devour my books (and I use the term loosely). Feast on my allegedly humorous essays. Or just snack on my droll Us Weekly Fashion Police comments.

Media

Need a hand model? You've come to the right place. Behold the awesome spectacle of my TV clips. Or maybe you'd rather gawk at the comely lasses in my Italian Vogue photo shoot.